I have spent most of the time on reading and studying this week, since my sister has returned to HK on Saturday, so I have to act like a GOOD KID again. :D Actually I feel a bit upset for staying at home for the whole week, I mean I want to have fun at night again, I want to spend time with my friends again, I want to go drinking again,etc. But now, I can’t go out at night without permission anytime, I can’t doing stupid things whenever I want…… though it really makes me feel bad and restricted sometimes……I’m glad that sister is with me now :-] Maybe It’s time for me to stop clubbing and drinking…(just for a short break :P )
Frankly, it seems like when I am feeling down, I have nothing to do except drinking and dancing, hoping that somehow, I will get some relief during the time. I am not a alcoholic but when I feel sad sometimes I feel like I am dying inside slowly if I couldn’t get alcohol, that’s really bad. On the other hand, I like drinking with my friends, sharing the great time with them…so that means I like drinking all the time,LOL. Seriously I SHOULD QUIT!I am going to change!
At the beginning of November, I experienced depression again so I chose to stay alone for a short period. Maybe its because I like to keep things to myself or its due to my high self-esteem that I do not wish to let others know about my depression cuz its just a mild depression, nothing important or serious about it. You know, its just like you are feeling down for nothing but yourself for a particular period. Its not necessary to let anyone know, right? :)
I have decided to pen my feelings down so as to remember the day, the day I feel so sick of life…and to treasure everything I have now. CHAOS! ++
x Vicky
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